I'm Gonna Be Strong
by Jae B
Summary: The most painful lesson in love...is learning to let go.


_Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold! I do not own "I'm Gonna Be Strong". _

_Author's Note: This is just an experimental songfic I conjured up while sitting through the midst of a hurricane. Feel free to "throw tomatoes" if it rubs you the wrong way! Thanks again, for all the reviews and constructive criticism. I truly appreciate it. _

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Our nightly romantic walk through the park to my apartment was void of all the joy we'd once so often experienced during the whole of what used to be the wonderful relationship we'd shared now for five years, and judging by the far-off look manifesting itself in his emerald green eyes, I undoubtedly realized this would most likely be the last time I would ever see my love again.

"Arnold, are you okay?" I asked a little apprehensively, for my intuitive nature sensed what he was about to tell me.

"Listen," he replied disconcerted, "when I say...what I'm about to say...please don't try and persuade me into changing my mind, all right?"

"All right," I answered drawing in a deep breath. "Please, let me know what you need to get off your chest."

_I can see you're slipping_

_Away from me_

_And you're so afraid_

_That I'll plead with you to stay_

"Well, here goes," he said stepping in front of me, gently taking both of my hands in such a manner that we could speak with one another face to face. "You know I think you're everything I could possibly ask for in a woman, but the truth is, for the past year and a half, I've felt incredibly unhappy. We both know what this is leading up to, don't we?"

"Yes," I bit my lower lip, slowly releasing my hands from his grasp. My father had once told me, when I was but just a small child, that inner strength was the key to keeping your composure. If such as it was with this case, I knew I'd need every ounce of that inner strength to make it through our conversation. "How come you've never told me this before? Gosh, if you absolutely feel my setting you free will relieve you from your misery, then so be it."

_But I'm gonna be strong_

_I'll let you go your way_

He responded silently by heavily nodding his head. Extending his arm out, he gestured for us to exit the park, which was not what he normally chose to suggest. Usually, we'd end up sitting down on one of the benches covering each other with affectionate kisses, but those had become scarce, and today there were none. As we stepped out of the park and onto the sidewalk, I bid farewell to the endless late night talks as well as every sweet caress he'd given me while we occupied those benches.

We passed by the boardwalk, and I could feel my delicate heart start to shiver once I reminisced about our bare feet dangling over the edge of the docks as we watched the sun set. His eyes passively glanced over the water, then changed their expression to one of sympathy as they fell upon mine own, but I wouldn't let him know I was starting to crumble under these unfortunate circumstances. I carefully let go of his hand, because it was just a hollow expression reminding me the love we once shared was no longer present.

_Love is gone_

_There's no sense in going on_

_And your pity now_

_Would be more than I could bear_

"Look, I'm sorry, but I just can't keep up this charade any longer, because I don't want to hurt you any more than I already have. It would be wrong for me to say I've fallen in love with another girl if I was still with you, and I'm not about to do that, so..."

"There's no need for you to explain yourself, Arnold," I returned, taking on the most nonchalant appearance I'd ever feigned in my entire life. "After all, it's nothing to bring yourself into a commotion over."

_I'm gonna be strong_

_I'll pretend I don't care_

When we approached Slaussen's Ice Cream Shop, I looked through the window, envisioning the two of us sipping on a milkshake through two bendy straws, something I remembered the two of us doing when we were youngsters around the age of nine. There'd be no more sharing of milkshakes, or sharing of anything for that matter. He didn't care to take even a slight glimpse at the small business. His gaze lay straight ahead in the direction of my place, which led me to believe our final conversation was drawing near.

The Cheese Festival was in full swing this time of the year, but there was no possible way to avoid it, being the only route from here to my house way by way of the fairgrounds. The fond memories I had of us attending the yearly event invaded my mind. Thee we were, riding around in the bumper cars, trying to avoid a collision...there Arnold was, trying his best to knock over the pyramid of glass bottles just so he could win me whatever my heart desired. It was all could do to perfect my posture and walk proudly by without so much as setting my eyes on a single ride.

_I'm gonna be strong_

_And stand as tall as I can_

_I'm gonna be strong_

"Um...is there anything you want to say?" he inquired nervously rubbing the back of his neck. "I mean, I'd at least like to know what you're thinking."

"To be perfectly honest with you," I replied, "I don't believe I have anything _to _say, but I would like for you to prove yourself a man by coming right out and telling me you're ready to terminate our relationship. When we reach my place, I expect you to be completely straight forward with me."

_And let you go along_

_And take it like a man_

Once we arrived at my establishment, we noticed my neighbor struggling with two full bags of groceries before tripping over her own porch steps, letting some of the content spill out onto the sidewalk. Although I'd known her for almost twenty years, Arnold having known her even longer, she was but a shell of the former angry young woman she used to be. She mostly kept to herself, and some of the men she brought home sent chills running down my spine, yet she always remained courteous with whomever she came in contact with, if she chose to acknowledge them. It was Arnold's warmhearted disposition to ask her if she needed any help.

After she politely declined his offer, telling him she'd take care of it herself, he brought his attention back to me. The time had come for me to face the music. At this time, my heart had stopped beating, for it, along with Arnold's love for me, had died.

"Well, this is it," he affirmed, "I hope the end of this relationship will bring you the opportunity for many new beginnings. Are you sure you're gonna be okay?"

"Oh, don't worry, Arnold," I forged a smile, "I'll be just fine, besides, there's nothing wrong in broadening your horizons."

_When you say it's the end_

_I'll hand you a line_

_I'll smile and say_

_Don't you worry it's fine_

"Then, I guess this is goodbye."

"I guess it is." With that, he leaned over slightly to give me a gentle kiss on the forehead.

"I wish nothing but the best for you in life," were his final words before turning his back to me and walking into the sunset.

"As I do for you," I whispered, blowing him one last kiss.

_And you'll never know darling_

_After you kiss me goodbye_

Tears started welling up in my eyes as I turned around only to face my neighbor standing before me, shaking her head, but her usual frigid blue eyes had melted into two oceans of warmth, ready to swallow whatever agony I was about to pour forth from my soul.

"You really are Ms. Innocent, aren't you?" she sighed. "There's something I'd like to share with you."

"What's that?" I sniffed.

"It was with that same boy, maybe around ten, twelve years ago or so, I made an important discovery," she related as she led me to her front porch steps so we could sit down. "It's that, the most painful lesson in love...is learning to let go. Are you ready to let go?"

"Oh, Helga!" I wept, "I feel oh, so awful!"

"That's right, just let go." she said, allowing me to sob onto her shoulder until the wee hours of the morning while she softly stroked my hair.

_How I'll break down and cry _

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_Author's Note: Time to start throwing the tomatoes! No, I do not plan on writing another songfic in the near future. Yes, I do plan on updating "Blue Oceans" sometime in the near future. "I'm Gonna Be Strong" was written by B. Mann and C. Weil. The performance I listened to was ::ghasp!:: Cyndi Lauper's. As always, thank you for all the reviews. I've always appreciated them, as well as the constructive criticism. _


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